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Colorful and Bitter

by PJ Fine

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1.
Hi, Thinking of You 02:42
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Planes and trains are so romantic Long car rides even more so When you leave town and you’re all alone You remember me and reach for your phone Text me something devastating Like hi, thinking of you But baby we both know that The only person you’re thinking of is you It’s okay to be sad It’s good to be reflective But I’m a person Not a movie Noah Baumbach directed I just wanna hang out with my friends And watch movies that they recommend And I wanna fuck myself And remember to take all the pills on my shelf So if you’re thinking of texting me just don’t If you’re thinking of texting me just don’t If you’re thinking of texting me just don’t Contact me on a bank holiday Like how’s your fourth hope it’s great Write to me like our boss is cc’d Don’t you remember going down on me Text me something introspective Like why are you ignoring me But baby we both know that The only dumb bitch I let in my life now is me It’s okay to be sad It’s good to be reflective Why you gotta be like that Life’s not a 35 mil at the Metrograph I just wanna hang out with my friends Even though I don’t have money to spend Drink on rooftops and shout And eat a little greasy day old Chinese take out So if you’re thinking of texting me just don’t If you’re thinking of texting me just don’t If you’re thinking of texting me just don’t If you’re thinking of texting me I'm gonna screenshot it and send it to my friends
2.
Hate Going on Dates 02:00
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Hate going on dates Hate making plans Always cancel if I can I’ll cancel once I’ll cancel twice Then I’ll feel bad so I’ll go Oh oh oh Oh oh oh They tell me dating should be fun Then why don’t you go do it Oh you did it You met the love of your life Cool I’m really happy for you But I hate going on dates They’re usually bad And that makes me feel bad I feel bad I feel bad Shouldn’t feel shouldn’t feel shouldn’t feel bad Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad Hate going on dates Can we skip to the part where we like each other Can we skip to the part where we know where we stand Can we skip to the part where we’re comfortable being our gross selves Can we skip to the part Can we skip Can we fucking skip this shit Can we skip to the part Can we skip Can we fucking skip this shit They tell me dating should be fun But that makes no sense Because the whole goal of dating Is so you never have to do it again Oh I feel bad I feel bad Shouldn’t feel shouldn’t feel shouldn’t feel bad Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad Hate going on dates They’re usually bad Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad Please ask me out
3.
Freak Bitch 01:08
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I'm just a freak bitch looking to get weird Because I tell you how I actually feel I'm just a sick little psychopath Oh yeah I'm quirky like that And you can call me insane Cause I actually call you And I'm very very bad news Because I genuinely care about you And we all know bitches be crazy I appreciate you And your baggage don't phase me I know I know I'm definitely out of my mind Because it doesn't turn me off when you cry chorus chorus chorus I'm a straight up maniac Because even if I'm mad I'll text you back The rumors are true I am deranged Because I think you're great Don't need to change Uh huh babe I'm fucked in the head Because instead of assuming I listen to what you said And oh I'm certainly stupid and dumb Because I'll never lie to you if I didn't cum I'm just a freak bitch looking to get weird Because I tell you how I actually feel I'm just a sick little psychopath Oh yeah I'm quirky like that
4.
Dream Girl 02:44
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When you dreamt about your dream girl Is this who you had in mind A life long depressive With a touch of borderline Okay more like a handful I guess they were right I’m fucking mental All I ever wanted was to want to be alive But I keep thinking it’d be kinda nice to die I'm just trying to survive I’m just trying to survive Myself Doctors say I'm doing great Everything’s black and white I’m trying to find the grey Don’t worry babe I’m high functioning It’s barely even worth mentioning Going to therapy working hard Please smash my head with a guitar All I ever wanted was to want to be alive But I keep thinking it’d be kinda nice to die I’m just trying to survive I’m just trying to survive Myself It’s not all bad There are certainly pros Like when I love you I love you so much more than you know When you dreamt about your dream girl Is this who you had in mind All I ever wanted was to want to be alive But I keep thinking it’d be kinda nice to die I’m just trying to survive I’m just trying to survive Myself I’m just stabbing in the dark It’s not perfect but it’s a start
5.
Places People Know Me 02:13
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People keep yelling you're a bitch at me So I stopped walking around Places people know me Yeah places people know me You say something nice Feels good for a minute You say something mean And that lasts a lifetime And everything is good And real fine and great I only lost my mind Like three times this week People keep yelling you're a bitch at me So I stopped walking around Places people know me Yeah places people know me Called myself a loser And John looked me in the eye Don't talk bad about my friend Or you'll be dealing with this guy You're so put together That's the line they always say It's cause I learned to put All the bad parts of me away People keep yelling you're a bitch at me So I started saying Hey hello how you been Yeah hey hello how you been Yeah hey hello how you been
6.
I Wish I was a Giant 02:54
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When I was a little girl I worried about you Now I’m a bit bigger And I still do If someone ever needed skin You’d peel yours right off and hand it to 'em You’re a lot of things to a lot of people But you’re everything to me Yeah you’re a lot of things to a lot of people But you’re everything to me I was six years old Sliding notes under your door They said you looked sad today But don’t worry it’s all gonna be okay If someone ever needed skin You’d peel yours right off and hand it to 'em You’re a lot of things to a lot of people But you’re everything to me Yeah you're a lot of things to a lot of people But you're everything to me I wish there was something i could do If I was a giant I’d eat anyone who ever hurt you Chomp chomp chomp Crack their necks and eat their bones Lick their heads like ice cream cones Chomp chomp chomp Line them neatly in a row Eat their eyes like escargot Stomp stomp stomp Like a corn dog on a stick Grind them into Koolaid mix If someone ever needed skin You’d peel yours right off and hand it to 'em You’re a lot of things to a lot of people But you’re everything to me Yeah you’re a lot of things to a lot of people But you’re everything to me You’re the strongest person I know But I wish you didn’t have to be
7.
666 02:31
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I had six wasps in my mouth I had six pregnancy scares I had six panic attack’s Sitting on my best friend’s stairs I had six good cries this week I had six awkward moments with you I had six pairs of underwear That the dog chewed Six six six Sex sex sex Sometimes you go and fuck your ex Six six six Sex sex sex You say you’ll call but you forget There’s like 200,000 species living in the sea But I’m just a little dumb bitch Drowning in this big dumb pond I had six good ideas when I was drunk I had six minutes to tell you but I froze I had six realizations that I’m a dumb bitch When I awoke I had six big heartbreaks I had six bruises from that trip we skied I spent six hours locked in your apartment Convincing you not to kill me Six six six Sex sex sex I spent all my money on my dying pet Six six six Sex sex sex I’m just tired and over it But I’m just a little dumb bitch drowning in this big dumb pond And I hate this dumb bitch water But I’m learning how to swim I ate 6 bowls of pasta salad in one day I dreamt six weird dreams about you I spent six months grounded in 5th grade Cause I said mom I sniffed some glue I spent six minutes cursing out the FBI I spent six minutes afterward mortified I spent six years crushing on Pete Wentz Take one look at me and think yeah that makes sense Six six six Sex sex sex I won’t respond to that fuckboy's text Six six six Sex sex sex Life is shit but my friends are the best There’s like 200,000 species living in the sea But I’m just a little dumb bitch Drowning in this big dumb pond Yeah I’m just a little dumb bitch Drowning in this big dumb pond And I hate this dumb bitch water But I’m learning how to swim Hail Satan
8.
Fuckboy Number One 02:02
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You watch my story You don’t text me back I’m super funny You like my thirst trap You watch my story You don’t text me back I’m super funny You like my ass Tell me you’re too tired to see me You don’t want a girlfriend But if you had one it would be me Fuckboy number one You’re the worst one I’ve done I let you be the meanest to me Told me your secrets You grabbed me and kissed me My ex saw us one night He said I looked happy Was looking for something But then I found you I always stayed over But I never slept next to you Fuckboy number one Fuckboy number one Only in it for the sex But you eat pussy the best I was excited to go to the party You bailed on me to do your laundry Buy me a bottle of brand new detergent To clean off this makeup that wasn’t worth it You took me to bars now I try to avoid them I bike past your street thinking hope I don’t see him The condom broke That one night in summer You got an Uber I deleted your number Fuckboy number one Fuckboy number Only in it for the sex But you eat pussy the best You’re so good at cooking up excuses You're so good at burning up my time You’re so good at cooking up excuses You should open a restaurant and try To do something that you are good at Maybe there’d be something that I’d try You’re so good at cooking up excuses They should call you fuckboyardee Chef fuckboyardee
9.
Applebees Gift Card 02:19
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You said you're not ready For anything too real And I said okay I get it But we were clearly broken So I ended it Then I saw a picture Of you with someone new And the caption it said Here's to a year What the fuck We just broke up I would've given you my kidneys Just like I gave you my heart But you gave me an Applebee’s gift card for my birthday Thank you babe I guess My therapist hates you really it's true And most days I forget about you Whenever I think that I miss you I remind myself when my cat died And you told me it was just a cat But I don’t wish you any bad There must’ve been a lot of that For you to turn out how you did I would've given you my kidneys Just like I gave you my heart But I gave that Applebee's gift card that you gave me To a homeless man And I do still hope you're happy Just really really really really far away from me But I gave that Applebee's gift card that you gave me To a homeless man He was nicer to me than you I hope he got apps and desserts too
10.
A List of Things Men Have Said to Me 02:12
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You’re colorful and bitter I like you the way you are You’re a bitch You’re sturdy and cool You’ve got masculine energy I don’t like that you’re funnier than me This is a list of things men have said to me No one will ever love you I love you so much baby You’re beautiful you’re amazing You’re the scariest person I know Get in the fucking car I hope you know you’re going to die here tonight You’re a light in my life This is a list of things men have said Or whispered or shouted or texted to me There’s nothing I’d rather do than fuck you You’re fat and you’re ugly You’re so fucking hot it’s crazy How did I get so lucky Should you really be eating that cookie Stop acting crazy I don’t want you to hate me Stop acting crazy I don’t want you to hate me Stop acting crazy I don’t want you to hate me Stop This is a list of things men have said In the street or a bar or a bed to me But there’s still plenty of time though If you’d like to add to the list let me know

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released January 23, 2020

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PJ Fine Brooklyn, New York

PJ Fine is a singer-songwriter, comedian and painter living in Brooklyn, NY. Heavily influenced by artists such as Kimya Dawson and Bright Eyes, her funny and brutally honest songs are a rollercoaster ride of heartbreak, mental illness and slices of joy. ... more

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